Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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