your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
