omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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