is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We had to coat check the pizza.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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