idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
