Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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