check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
