I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
