Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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