Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
