Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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