I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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