a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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