U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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