your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
