You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
jump out the window naked night went bad
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