is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
