the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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