Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
