In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When are your genitals available?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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