ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Panties = found
Randomize
