I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
