Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
