I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize