Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
