found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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