Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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