I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
