Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
