I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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