I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
