why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
