we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
