my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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