Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Randomize
