no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have aggressive nipples.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize