I bet he comes in French.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
do herpes really smell.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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