me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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