I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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