Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
