Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
porn star boner night. come get it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
