just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
