So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize