is your mom at the bar?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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