I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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