he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize