never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
