So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
