Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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