I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
