Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
