There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do vagina's smell?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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