Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize