Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
