You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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