I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
