I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
two words...techno handjob
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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