Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I will be naked everywhere
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
