Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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