my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
