he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
