Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
